Space for Love
Where I live, today is Family Day. Starting in 2008, the provincial government of Ontario has recognized the third Monday in February as Family Day and it is considered a statutory holiday with a focus on allowing people to spend time with those they love. Most have the day off work, kids are out of school, communities provide activities for families to do together and there’s an opportunity to be reminded that time with family is important.
Now I’m all for time off and having my kids home with me for the day but my favourite part of Family Day is this recognition and encouragement to create space in our lives to focus on family.

Family Day will be spent with this crew.
Despite the wise warning of what happens when you assume, I’m going to make a couple of assumptions about people who are reading this blog. First, there are people in your life you love to spend time with. Second, you don’t have enough space in your life to spend as much time with them as you’d like.`
God created us for relationship, brings people into our lives who change our world and give us glimpses of what a complete, fulfilled life looks like. Some of these people are in our lives for a short time but, if we are fortunate, there are some who will be a part of our lives for years, even decades.
We are also up to our necks in a culture which is obsessed with busy, where saving time is valued to give us more time to chase other pursuits. Can you imagine another point in history where a whole industry would be built on helping to teach people to get things done? Our factory efficiency model of “more is better” has been adopted in almost every area of our lives, often at the expense of relational commitment, intimacy and community.
I remember the story of a successful businessman who was on holidays in a small fishing town. He came across a man sitting back on a chair in the sun, holding a drink in one hand. The man seemed to be quite satisfied with his current situation, enjoying his day on the beach. The businessman looked at the man and told him he was missing a great opportunity. There were lots of tourists in this small fishing town and it was hard to find a boat which could take the tourists out on a fishing trip. The businessman encouraged the man to take the opportunity and start his own business.
“Why would I want to do that?,” asked the man. “Well, if you were able to rent a boat, run a series of successful fishing trips and earn enough money, maybe you could buy your own boat!” The man seemed mildly intrigued. “And what about after I have one boat?” “Well,” said the businessman, “if you are able to run your business well with one boat and you begin to develop a great reputation among the tourists maybe you could purchase several boats, hire other captains and make more money by taking more tourists out on fishing trips.”
At this point, the man was getting inspired by this businessman’s strategy. “What would I be able to do next?” The businessman was full of great ideas. “After you have several boats in this little fishing town, you could then expand your company to other towns up and down the coast. In each town you’d be able to have several boats taking tourists out for fishing trips, with several boat captains helping you to earn more money.”
The man began to realize this was a pretty significant opportunity. “Well, after I have several boats in several towns, what would I be able to do next?” “What could you do next? After several years of running your business and expanding to several towns with your successful operation, maybe you would be fortunate enough to retire to this little town, sit on the beach in the sun with a drink and enjoy your life!”

Nobody is advocating laziness. Nobody is suggesting you should throw opportunities away. But, at this point in your life, are you pursuing a strategy which will allow you more space with those you love or are you pursuing more space with those you love? Read it again. Huge difference.
This is real life for me. Later this year I will be taking a three month sabbatical from my job as the worship director of my church. Not because I’m at the end of my rope, not because I need to escape, not because of some kind of moral failure. The elders at my church have enough wisdom to know that one of the secrets of endurance and faithfulness is space – space to rest, space to dream, space to love.
Do you have that? Do you have space to love? Is your life so jammed with opportunity, strategy, pursuing your future that you are neglecting the ones closest to you?
Look at your calendar. How much space is in your calendar for those you love? How much margin do you have to spend time with those who are closest to you? Have your circles of virtual friends attained more significance in your life than the neighbour you are called to love?
How do we fight this? Let me give three steps you can do today to help create space in your life for those you love -
1. Put it in your calendar
I’m not kidding. You do it with everything else, why not do it with your kids or your siblings or the best friend you haven’t actually seen in months? I have regular one-on-one times with each of my kids on their monthly birthday. My oldest daughter was born on October 7th so on or around the 7th of each month I do my best to have some meaningful one-on-one time with her. I find if I don’t schedule this, it can very easily get missed. Do I manage to make it happen every month? Not with all four kids, but I do way better than if it wasn’t scheduled at all.
2. Pick up the phone
Some of you know you need to stop reading this right now and call someone you love. Might be your brother, might be your mom, might be the best man from your wedding. Don’t go to the next post in Google Reader, don’t click away to Facebook. Stop. Pick up the phone, make the call. I don’t care if you don’t make it back to this blog post – just pick up the phone and give them a call!
3. Ask for help
God knows your heart. Ask Him to bring the goal of your life back in to focus. Go back to some of the core motivations that you have for pursuing the things that you are chasing and see how they fit with what your life actually looks like today. There may be things you need to stop doing, things you need to say no to. Ask God to reveal some of these things to you.
1 John 4:12 “No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”
This post was inspired by the Luminous Project. Luminous is an event in Nashville for creatives on May 9-11, 2012. To find out more, check out luminousproject.com. You can use the promo code ‘luminousLOVE’ to get 30% off the ticket price.
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